Boundaries in dating book summary

20-Apr-2019 04:08 by 10 Comments

Boundaries in dating book summary

Unfortunately there is no easy way to discern his true intentions without putting yourself on the line over and over again, and seeing how he responds.

A post I made about why women shouldn't take the initiative in relationships evoked some questions about how to deal with shy men - after all, shy men don't chase women, and are unlikely to initiate anything.

Unfortunately there is no quantifiable or simple rule here, as his threshold for embarrassment will vary in proportion to his shyness and his pride, which are different in every man. Well, for starters, in the early stages, you will need to give him blatant signs of your interest.

Aside from their innate male tendency to overlook anything that isn't spelled out in black and white, shy men will by default doubt any sign of your affection.

Though he knows his own limitations (as prescribed by his shyness), he also knows what a typical man is "supposed to do." So he recognizes, too, when you are doing it for him.

This will offend him if you flaunt it, or if it is evident due simply to the social magnitude of the task you've assumed (for example, if you take his hand and lead him through a crowd).

The first thing to do when you find yourself attracted to a shy man is to question your feelings for him.

In other words, ask yourself "Am I attracted in spite of or because of his shyness? A very close friend of mine is extremely shy, and I know plenty of other guys that are shy. Shy guys, almost by definition, do not have the balls to initiate and pursue women.Comments like "Oh, I thought you were going drive/get the tickets/plan the trip/[insert other traditionally masculine roles here]" can help in priming his confidence if it seems to be lagging and it bothers you.Dating a shy man takes a lot of initial investment for an uncertain outcome.A shy man may never become courageous enough to approach women in general, but he can eventually grow comfortable with a girlfriend or wife.As the fear of the unknown dissipates with increased familiarity, a shy man's confidence in his interactions with you will rise.Of course, he will question this over and over in his mind, wondering whether you were asking him to hang out just to be friends, or if you wanted something more.