Dating a more educated woman
Dating a more educated woman - Wanadoodating
How odd, then, to find out now that being a maid would have enhanced my chances with men.” These two books have had a profound effect on the way young, career-oriented women perceive their relationships. “I got that Maureen Dowd piece emailed to me by tons of people, including my mom, who wrote a header saying something like, ‘According to this, you’re never getting married.’ Someone in the office emailed me as well.
The media went into a feeding frenzy: “Powerful Male Looking for Maid to Marry,” “Glass Ceilings at the Altar as Well as the Boardroom,” “They’re Too Smart for These Guys” cried the news and editorial pages of major dailies nationwide.In 2002, Sylvia Ann Hewlett presented a study of high-achieving women who weren’t marrying or having children at the same rates as other women.In her book she stoked the flames of panic among successful women: “Nowadays, the rule of thumb seems to be that the more successful the woman, the less likely it is she will find a husband or bear a child.” She argued that high-achieving women who were still single at age 30 had a less than 10 percent chance of ever marrying.For a generation of SWANS — Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse — these myths have become conventional wisdom.If you attended a good school, have an impressive job, have career aspirations or dream of future success, men will find you less attractive.“It was just depressing.” Kim chimed in: “I’m on the cusp of turning 30 and people are always complaining that smart women don’t get married.
You never hear about the relationships that are going well, the people who have found a great match.
“I’ve been told by well-meaning relatives: ‘Don’t talk about work on a date, dumb it down, and it’s bad to earn so much money because guys will be scared of you.’ And I got the word ‘intimidating’ a lot,” said Alexis, a 35-year-old lawyer in San Francisco. Nearly half of single women believe their professional success is intimidating to the men they meet.
Put another way, many high-achieving women think their success is not helping them find love.
And if a woman makes a lot of money, men will be intimidated.
Conservative and liberal pundits alike mythologized the failure of feminism and the “waste” of these talented women who were searching for soul mates.
CHAPTER 2 | Overqualified for Love Imagine, as newspapers and magazines recently have, the “plight of the high-status woman.” She is a well-educated young woman in her 30s, earns a good salary, and has a great social life — but she is single and is worried that her success might be the reason she has not met a man to marry.