Dating recovering alcoholic first year
Dating recovering alcoholic first year - republican dating
There was never a conversation about why they stopped getting back to me.
So after quitting drinking and drugs, I also wanted to quit my disastrous dating pattern. I saw myself as a high-achieving, exceptional person who needed to “let loose” on the weekends.Back when I’d lost my actual virginity, I had manipulated a guy into sleeping with me after a drunken debacle the week before. But with Steve, I didn’t feel any need to manipulate him. But I didn’t break down and cry and try to win him back. I didn’t tell my sponsor about my sexual activity, at first. But at about six months sober, I got to Step Four—which involves writing out an inventory of your past behavior, including sexual behavior.I realized then that sexual conquests were a major factor in how I cultivated self-esteem.AA was chock-full of single guys but I didn’t want to date them.I didn’t think I could handle someone with an alcoholic brain like mine. But otherwise, I was open to pretty much type of guy.She’d found dealing with breakups hard, but she was still sober. I came into sobriety still reeling from a recent heartbreak.
Mike* was in an acting company with me, and we had shared a brief, passionate, tumultuous relationship.
“No major changes in the first year” is a common suggestion for newcomers in AA.
It means holding off on moving, changing jobs, starting a relationship, etc. If these things don’t work out—or even if they do—change can drive people to drink or use again. And I’m glad I didn’t: Dating in my first year helped me find the love of my life. My drinking and drug use escalated so quickly in college that my life seemed in danger of becoming a cautionary tale.
On our second date, I told him I was in AA and he wasn’t weirded out at all.
In fact, his step-mom is in the program, too, having been sober for over 30 years..
I had two rules for my potential match: no assholes, and no big partiers.