Dating with hiv
Dating with hiv - Free chat for young adult
I had no type, no goal, really, and a bad one-night stand was just as much as fun as one that turned into a mini-romantic fling.I naively thought I was invincible, that one day a hookup would lead to true Disney princess-style love, and never assumed that HIV would have anything to do with my life.
The positive result almost didn't compute at first.Taking care of your health is more adult than playing house with a boyfriend, yet, even though I had been tested for STIs, I had never thought of getting an HIV test.But one day, randomly, I added the HIV rapid test to the list of things to do before intake to my pap smear appointment.There was a positive aspect to my HIV, though I didn't know that then.It woke me up and made me realize what I needed and wanted from a partner.I kept asking the nurse who took me upstairs at the Margaret Sanger Center in the East Village for a second blood test to confirm the rapid test result.
I was in shock that simply sleeping with probably close to a hundred men throughout my 20s — in college, in Rome, Italy where I lived for five years, in New York City upon my return — and not being strict about using condoms could have such a serious consequence.
eventually give them the "bad news."The 'bad news' was less about their risk of getting HIV and more about how I had deceived them, which is not an especially attractive quality in a mate.
Not only did it lead to drama, but it was also dangerous at times.
I was living in New York City with a boyfriend I'll call Matt when I was diagnosed with HIV. It was my first steady, long-term relationship, and we did what I used to think of as "grown-up" things.
Like having Sunday football parties or fighting in Home Depot about what color to paint an accent wall in our living room.
But when you're the kind of person who equates dating with dinners, drinks, and casual sex, HIV can put a real damper on all that. Not only was I still trying to figure out what living with HIV meant, I couldn't just do that whole "put on your high heels and get back out there" thing that most newly single people do.