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22-May-2019 15:19 by 10 Comments

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Tell me you never thought that about the man/woman you once passed at a farmer’s market who for some reason caught your eye.

The first being the non-committal, dipping your toe in the water, beat around the bush mindset. Every sentence ends with an “LOL” or some other “I’m just here testing the waters” verbiage. Stop making me guess, just go with “I’m interested in getting to know you more. The ideal relationship, which most likely doesn’t have anything to do with the person they’re currently considering. I just saw on a listener’s Snapchat “I forgot to tell her she has 24 hours to contact me. These are rules that apply to no one except a potential SO. A few months ago, a guy asked me out, it would’ve been our first date and our first time meeting one another.

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If it was just a friend and they asked me to hang out with them for the first time with their parents at a baseball game, I would’ve said hell yes.

Why do we treat potential partners so different from friends? I’m just here biding my time until Aaron Rodgers reads my Twitter, sees what a cool person I am, falls in love, and DMs me “You’ve been the one this whole time.” And I’ll be like “I know, my bags are already packed, I’ve been waiting.” THAT’S CREEPY, RIGHT?

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The “if I don’t really put it out there, it’s not rejection! “Hey how about that date lol.” Why are you laughing?! We’re talking goals and dreams, and we just need to insert a person in there. He had an extra ticket to a box suite at a baseball game where his parents would also be.

I happened to be in a co-worker’s office and I told her and she said “Nah, that’s weird you can’t do that. ” Later, I found myself thinking about it, why is that weird?

I don’t remember telling all my friends what a clown Michael is. Like OK damn Dan, you could’ve chewed on it for a second, but I respected how upfront he was. We just kept on going about our business, just like Michael and I did in nursery school. I always thought Alessia Cara was an asshole in her song “Here.” I dig the track, but why go out when you really don’t want to and then hate on everyone else because they’re having a good time?

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