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It includes such features as directness or indirectness, pacing and pausing, word choice, and the use of such elements as jokes, figures of speech, stories, questions, and apologies.In other words, linguistic style is a set of culturally learned signals by which we not only communicate what we mean but also interpret others’ meaning and evaluate one another as people.
One after another, each manager declared, in effect, that every woman in his group didn’t have the self-confidence needed to be promoted. How could it be that all the talented women in the division suffered from a lack of self-confidence? Consider the many women who have left large corporations to start their own businesses, obviously exhibiting enough confidence to succeed on their own.
Similarly, when Sally relocated from Texas to Washington, D.
C., she kept searching for the right time to break in during staff meetings—and never found it.
As a form of social behavior, language also negotiates relationships.
Through ways of speaking, we signal—and create—the relative status of speakers and their level of rapport. ” you are signaling that you have higher status than the person you are addressing, that you are so close to each other that you can drop all pleasantries, or that you are angry.
Communication isn’t as simple as saying what you mean.
How you say what you mean is crucial, and differs from one person to the next, because using language is learned social behavior: How we talk and listen are deeply influenced by cultural experience.Whereas often we consciously consider what to say before speaking, we rarely think about how to say it, unless the situation is obviously loaded—for example, a job interview or a tricky performance review.Linguistic style refers to a person’s characteristic speaking pattern.When Bob, who is from Detroit, has a conversation with his colleague Joe, from New York City, it’s hard for him to get a word in edgewise because he expects a slightly longer pause between turns than Joe does.A pause of that length never comes because, before it has a chance to, Joe senses an uncomfortable silence, which he fills with more talk of his own.The senior managers were judging the women in their groups by their own linguistic norms, but women—like people who have grown up in a different culture—have often learned different styles of speaking than men, which can make them seem less competent and self-assured than they are.