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because we were spending weeks at a time together whenever she came to see me.Just because you’re not seeing each other every day doesn’t mean you’re not interested.
One person’s “casual” means “non-exclusive, sex only” while another’s means “we only see each other once a week”.Similarly, a couple that only sees each other in short, intense bursts in between long stretches of non-contact (long-distance relationships and out-of-town hook-ups, for example) is probably going to want to have the DTR sooner – the intensity of that time together, coupled with the length of time spent when you together tends to necessitate making sure everyone is on the same page.To give a personal example: my wife and I had our DTR conversation the third time she came to visit…Straight talk: there are two phrases that a woman can say that will instill ball-shrinking terror in the heart of every man.The first is “We need to talk.” The second is “Where do you think this relationship is going?If you’re talking every single day on the phone or over social media between the moments when your schedules line up, it moves the timeline for the DTR conversation slightly to “sooner”.
If you’re not talking much outside of your dates except to set up the next one, then it’s safer to leave the conversation for later; your behavior is indicating that you’re not quite so invested in the relationship as to need to define things. As a rule of thumb, it’s easier to go with the flow if you haven’t slept together yet; most of the time, the relationship isn’t going to be seen as being serious or in need of defining.One of the biggest causes of relationship strife is when two people are talking but nobody is what the other is saying.This is doubly true when it comes to having the DTR talk.The conversation may be short or it may be long but either way, you want to be able to talk about it without feeling like you need to come up with an answer by X time .If your partner springs the conversation on you without warning, then ask for time to think and pick a day to talk about it.This is an important conversation, so it’s critical that you both have time to actually .