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I have dropped my non-AS 'friends' over the years as I was unable to meet their expectations that I should change to be more like them.They never tried to understand me, yet expected ME to understand THEM!
Also, crowds may be overwhelming, and he may avoid them all together. Sexual issues may arise if the AS male has not received an appropriate sex education earlier in life.Still others refuse to accept the possibility that they may have AS – and are offended when the issue is raised. Some males with AS may have become defensive as years have passed and are difficult to confront or reason with.This is often the result of bullying and exclusion by their peers when they were younger. Teamwork may pose a problem, and the AS man may function better if he is in a separate office without noise or distracting social interaction. When courting a lady, an AS man may come across as quiet and reserved.Notice I said “traits” – not “character flaws.” We’re talking about symptoms that come with having the disorder.And the affected person often has little - or no - control over most of these symptoms.In an effort to save face and protect their fragile self-esteem, these males may blame others for things that they should take responsibility for themselves. People around them assume that they are simply ill-tempered or prefer their own company. Many AS males often desire friends, but may also be considered loners.
Typically they have a much lower capacity for social interaction than a “typical” man. Many AS men have learned to lie to help them cope with life.I have great Spectrum friends and we have fortnightly family get-togethers that are huge fun. We understand each other’s body language; eye-contact is not a problem nor is bluntness and honesty in conversation. I wish I had read it about 15 years ago, before I married my husband in 2000. I am a physician myself who has worked with many children with DD and have also been reading every book I could find on the subject since I realized Aspergers was likely the cause of my husband's odd behaviors.We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why.• Anonymous said… I feel that all my time is spent on how I can make things better for my husband to cope with life. For a long time I thought it was his upbringing --with selfish, distant parents, or me, that he wasn't in love with me, or I was too emotional and needy.This post is not designed to blame or ridicule men on the spectrum, and it should be noted that they do have more strengths than weaknesses (which we discuss a lot on this site).But for the purposes of this post, we will focus on some of the features associated with AS that can negatively impact romantic relationships.Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events. I see that I am responsible for my own anger and resentment and criticism, and the response it has provoked in him. But I also see that he will never be someone who will hug me spontaneously, kiss my cheek when I am crying, grab my hand when we are walking, look me in the eyes and truly understand emotionally what I am going through. He doesn't like to make eye contact, unless it's an overly direct, almost aggressive stare, and pulls away quickly after a stiff hug.