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Bela, as a love and dating guru, and me, a codependency/relationship specialist, trainer, psychotherapist and author, found ourselves intensely engaged in our shared attempts to explain the seemingly mysterious, alluring and deeply irresistible nature of Tinder -- the newest and hottest Internet dating service.
It is possible to complete a game every three to four seconds, with no delay between one game and the next.Bela and I seemed to be magnetically drawn to each other because of like-minded ideas and experiences about romance, dating and, of all subjects, chemistry! Bela is a jewel of a person who is fun, energetic, smart, and brimming with passion for what she believes in and what she does.She hones her infectious, creative and effervescent energy into her company, Smart Dating Academy, which is one of the nation's top-ranked date coaching services.Some machine gamblers become so caught up in the rhythm of play that it dampens their awareness of space, time and monetary value.The trance caused by the slot machine's whirling wheels, flashy lights, loud sounds, and triumphant siren blast of the lucky bastard next to you who just won a jackpot, keeps you transfixed and glued to your one-armed bandit -- at least until all of your money is gone.If, on the other end, someone finds your photo "attractive," then you are immediately rewarded with a rush-inducing message that you two are a match.
From that point, you can chat, swap numbers and even meet up.
Although Tinder doesn't deplete your savings account, it is certainly capable of depleting your limited reserves of hope, wonder, and self-esteem. Chamorrow-Premuzic (2014) believes that Tinder is capable of damaging one's self-esteem and confidence, while aggravating or even causing anxiety and depression.
He further asserted that the problem with Tinder-like dating apps is that they can be more arousing than the actual hook up.
As Fischer explained in her book, Gazing upon a photo of someone with whom you are smitten, e.g.
a Tinder photo, activates the brain's pleasure center (tagmental ventral area), where copious amounts of dopamine, the brain's "pleasure chemical," is released to travel down the brain's neural "love circuit." Once it reaches the pleasure centers in the brain, primarily in the nucleus accumben, we feel a rush of desire, which then travels at lightning speed to the thinking and action parts of our brain: the prefrontal cortex. The little dopamine hit is the swipe, the bigger and more intoxicating one is with a match!
Her notoriety is international, as she is a regular TV personality, author, speaker and coach extraordinaire.