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At length the foremancomplained to the boss, who was at once boiling over withwrath. Damned old house ain't plumb." The King ̶ ̶ I was not aware that Mr. Sleeves had been rolledup, stockings rolled down, bosoms and interesting placesfreely exposed.Marching into the workshop he planted himself inthe middle of the room and fairly shouted silence. Groom ̶ ̶ Opening the door on a crack and shoving outanother $5. Just married this morning,but if I'd known she was so rank I'd have opened her upin the country. Nearly everyone had had something toshow, and in a majority of cases a fruit or vegetable wassupposed to be represented. "The penance on you is thatyou eat a peck of oats." "Sure, your reverence," says Pat, "I'm not a horse." "No," says the priest.
"Even as the religious master ruled the nations of earthin the olden time, so in a milder more beneficent way arethe people of to-day controlled; the bonds of ignoranceand superstition are rapidly giving way under the researchof science and the investigation of skepticism.Go thou and do likewise." The King ̶ ̶ I am opposed to capital punishment. The taking off and putting away of hairand the plastering on and rearranging of same consumedtoo much of the employer's hours. Your dandies and foplings may laugh At her simple and modest attire, But the charms she permits to appear Would set a whole iceberg on fire, She can dance, but she never allows The hugging and squeezing caress, She's saving all these for her spouse, My girl in her calico dress. Mine Host was tearing mad, andtaking Mac out to the side of the house, pointed to thechromo and said: "There, sir, what do you think of that? The King ̶ ̶ We have all seen it, and possibly many of ushave ̶ ̶ but never mind. During the afternoon nothing special occured,until the subject of birthmarks was hit.It was custom ofthe girls to take off said bangs and frizzes and put them inthe table drawers while at work. The King ̶ ̶ Gentlemen, there is both truth and poetry inthe old song. "Mac eyed it critically for a moment, and then replied:"Yes, I see. Then one showeda strawberry on her arm, another a cherry on her breast,still another a bee on her thigh.Every-one stopped work and looked in silent awe upon the angryman. At last the eyes of all turnedrather inquiringly to the lady from the country. Bolton ̶ ̶ It is that story of the young lady organist. "Yer not a horse but yer ahorse's arse." Wheaton ̶ ̶ That reminds me of the sotry of the old Irish woman who saw the clown exhibiting his feats (nothis feet) to the priest, turning summersaults back andforth."Now," said he, "everyone of you girls who has hair inher drawers stand up." All save one little ten-year-oldgirl arose. Withoutobtrusive explanation the young man arose, pulled up hisdress and skirts in front and asked, "How's that for acucumber? She was suspected by the female portion of the congrega-tion, and the tongue of slanderous or scandalous gossip hadbeen wagging fiercely. "I went to my room, but, Ohthe awful bad thoughts I had." "Well," says the priest, viciously. The old woman thought it was a punishment andexclaimed: "Och! Luk at the pinancethe priest iz puttin an uz an me here widout me dhrawers." The King ̶ ̶ Will Brother Warner favor us with a story?"Throughout all ages, among all animate things, the ex-tatic thrill of copulation has been, is, and will be the main-spring of life. The perfectman will be, can only be, the product of all climes.
Thecold of winter and the summer sun are needs to full frui-tion.He turned to her and asked: "Why don't youstand up? Mc Fadden has so thoroughly wethis whistle, I am sure, he will now favor us with a song. Mc Fadden was a descendent of the same old Irishkings who have figured so frequently in newspaper histories. Groom (opening the door slightly) shoves a bill throughthe door (whispers) ̶ ̶ That's all right. Bell boy retires; gass still escaping; other guest complain. " The King ̶ ̶ That cucumber story has been told in a mul-titude of ways. Bolton ̶ ̶ I would like to get off my story while Ithink of it. The attention of the good deaconshad been called to the matter, but as the girl was verypretty and a good organist they had been slow to act. Warner ̶ ̶ There lived in the won of Kennebec, Maine,a good, old Unitarian preacher who felt that he must retirefrom active service." "Because I aint old enough to have hair onmine yet." Robinson ̶ ̶ Never heard that one before. Ferguson ̶ ̶ I appeal to the king if ̶ ̶ King ̶ ̶ I will drink with the gentleman, certainly. His voice was really musical, but on this occasion itseemed a cross between a bagpipe and a hurdy-gurdy,as without a deal of preliminary he sang THE GRAY MARE. Oneday when they were holding a business meeting in thechurch the young lady came in, passed up to the organ loftand began playing softly. So he called the trustees of the church together and with their reluctant consent laid downthe duty.His voice, a mellow baritone, wasthe envy of every member of the club. Scribner hav-ing been chosen as secretary of state, and Mr.Green ascomptroller of the treasury, the king rose and said: "Gentlemen of the Chestnut Club.Az Oi wuz a goin' to Nottinham faire, A ridin' on horseback upon a gray maire, Wid a lang mane and tail and a wishp on her back, Divil a haire wuz upon her that wuzn't coal-black OI mit a king and queen and a comp'ny a-morewid a nate little dhrummer bye, dhrummin' before Oh a nate little dhrummer bye batin his dhrum, Wid his heels in his pockets, before me did run. Morgan ̶ ̶ So the story goes, an Irishman by thename of Kelly fell from the top of a building in process ofconstruction and broke his neck. Opdyke ̶ ̶ Scene ̶ ̶ A bridal chamber; fresh country couple; gasblown out and stench accumulatin. Her presence calling to mindthe gossip, a committee of two ̶ ̶ an old deacon and a youngusher ̶ ̶ were appointed to wait on the young lady in thematter. "The next night I was passin' thedoor, and there was Mary Ann on the bed and she withouta stitch of clothes on her, and she still winkin' and smilin'. The old man was financially comfortable, butthe association had been so long and so endearing that themembers of the church felt that they must make him somepartying demonstration, presentations, etc.